good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
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He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
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Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We're too hungover to prance.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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