Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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