She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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