I want you more than these girls want KFC
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
