I'm jealous of your bromance
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!