IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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