Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
