So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
