What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
