THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
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I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
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I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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