then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
