nut hugger
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
