what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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