the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my sisters under your porch take her home
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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