Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
