I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
