The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
