hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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