you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
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no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
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I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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