my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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