What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Blood and glitter go together right?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
My penis needs a shock collar
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
