I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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