He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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