cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
what day is it and did you see me today?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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