Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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