and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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