Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
