plz talk dirty to me
She's JV to your varsity
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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