dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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