what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
