We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
