So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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