Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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