Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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