I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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