'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
