Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize