Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
