This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
