i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
