i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize