i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
