how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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