so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
