New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Randomize