I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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