she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
