so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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