they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You pole danced in your parka.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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