he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
