Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
