He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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