he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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