doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
