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He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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