i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
