okay pat passed out under dana's car
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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