does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize