Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
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I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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