Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize