I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
